Intimacy with my Lover

Understanding the power and importance of intimacy has brought meaning to my life and has drawn me closer to the ONE who loves me. I’m learning to use every part of me to love and form the habits of intimacy by;

Having a sit place with him  

I have to meet with him daily and share all that my heart feels

I tell him all about my situations because his presence gives me peace, joy and hope

He has the best words to say to me and his truth always set me free

So, I just obey whatever he speaks to me. 

He tells me I have to have a truth-life preserver that entails the use of positive beliefs and words that I need to hold onto daily, no matter the struggle or difficulties

He reminds me of how easy it is for negative thoughts to creep into my mind, however there’s much  power in positivity.  

Finding a place of grace with Him

He taught me to meditate on his love for me

He tells me to always look around me at all times, and this will remind me that I am breathing and living in the truth that he loves me

He says, I should never try to be perfect, pretend, please or perform for him to receive his love because he loves me just the way I am. 

Giving me a gift of forgiveness

He constantly reminds me of the need to offer forgiveness to everyone regardless of what they have done and who they are. 

Making him my healing plan 

While I’m in his presence, hearing his voice, I receive comfort, grace and find strength because he alone has the power to heal my broken heart and bind up my wound. 

Walking my grief journey

He tells me to let go of all my thoughts and feelings of loss, anger, guilt and regrets in his stream

While I hold onto the healing words he speaks to me so I can receive all of his compassion and comfort. 

Stepping out of troubles

He tells me to always make 911 calls to him and trust that it will always find its way to his ears

He tells me to be fearless, be still and watch what he will do for me in his response to my call in return.

For this, I worship him for who he is and what he’s done for me. 

Walking journey in light

Constantly meditating on the beauty and strength that comes from living in the light of the presence of my lover

Replacing the feelings of unworthiness with the truth of his light and love

Trusting in his daily out pour of his perfect love into my heart

Now, I exercise the belief, that;

I’m made with love

I’m made for love and intimacy

Surrounded by love 

One language I speak fluently is love

I AM LOVE because I am made in the image of my lover, God (the lover of my soul)

Made from love for love.

FRAGMENTS

A lily among thorns

A part of me was once broken

I sought for love where I shouldn’t

I was in search for intimacy, devotion, security, from someone who didn’t have it

So much of life was invisible, inscrutable: layers of thoughts, feelings, outward events entwined with secrecies, obscurities, ambivalences and darkness strongly present even as I search

Each night was the same

My mind clouded like a dark, busy highway

Busy, yet empty

While the darkness engulfed me

Until one night, I saw a great light directly in front of me

I didn’t hear a voice, but I felt as if that shaft of light was the presence of God inviting me to step into it

To choose God instead of this earthly love that I wanted to turn and cling to

I hesitated just long enough for the light to vanish as quickly as it appeared…

A part of me was suppose to suffer for it but all part of me suffered for it

In choosing men, I lost the awareness of the very presence of God

I broke down my altar

My heart got tangled up, and now I was paying the consequences

All I got from those places were countless fragments

Fragments that shiver my heart

Causing me to fly on broken wings

Now, I have to put my pieces together

So I can regain myself, my complete WHOLE!