A part of me was once broken
I sought for love where I shouldn’t
I was in search for intimacy, devotion, security, from someone who didn’t have it
So much of life was invisible, inscrutable: layers of thoughts, feelings, outward events entwined with secrecies, obscurities, ambivalences and darkness strongly present even as I search
Each night was the same
My mind clouded like a dark, busy highway
Busy, yet empty
While the darkness engulfed me
Until one night, I saw a great light directly in front of me
I didn’t hear a voice, but I felt as if that shaft of light was the presence of God inviting me to step into it
To choose God instead of this earthly love that I wanted to turn and cling to
I hesitated just long enough for the light to vanish as quickly as it appeared…
A part of me was suppose to suffer for it but all part of me suffered for it
In choosing men, I lost the awareness of the very presence of God
I broke down my altar
My heart got tangled up, and now I was paying the consequences
All I got from those places were countless fragments
Fragments that shiver my heart
Causing me to fly on broken wings
Now, I have to put my pieces together
So I can regain myself, my complete WHOLE!
