Intimacy with my Lover

Understanding the power and importance of intimacy has brought meaning to my life and has drawn me closer to the ONE who loves me. I’m learning to use every part of me to love and form the habits of intimacy by;

Having a sit place with him  

I have to meet with him daily and share all that my heart feels

I tell him all about my situations because his presence gives me peace, joy and hope

He has the best words to say to me and his truth always set me free

So, I just obey whatever he speaks to me. 

He tells me I have to have a truth-life preserver that entails the use of positive beliefs and words that I need to hold onto daily, no matter the struggle or difficulties

He reminds me of how easy it is for negative thoughts to creep into my mind, however there’s much  power in positivity.  

Finding a place of grace with Him

He taught me to meditate on his love for me

He tells me to always look around me at all times, and this will remind me that I am breathing and living in the truth that he loves me

He says, I should never try to be perfect, pretend, please or perform for him to receive his love because he loves me just the way I am. 

Giving me a gift of forgiveness

He constantly reminds me of the need to offer forgiveness to everyone regardless of what they have done and who they are. 

Making him my healing plan 

While I’m in his presence, hearing his voice, I receive comfort, grace and find strength because he alone has the power to heal my broken heart and bind up my wound. 

Walking my grief journey

He tells me to let go of all my thoughts and feelings of loss, anger, guilt and regrets in his stream

While I hold onto the healing words he speaks to me so I can receive all of his compassion and comfort. 

Stepping out of troubles

He tells me to always make 911 calls to him and trust that it will always find its way to his ears

He tells me to be fearless, be still and watch what he will do for me in his response to my call in return.

For this, I worship him for who he is and what he’s done for me. 

Walking journey in light

Constantly meditating on the beauty and strength that comes from living in the light of the presence of my lover

Replacing the feelings of unworthiness with the truth of his light and love

Trusting in his daily out pour of his perfect love into my heart

Now, I exercise the belief, that;

I’m made with love

I’m made for love and intimacy

Surrounded by love 

One language I speak fluently is love

I AM LOVE because I am made in the image of my lover, God (the lover of my soul)

Made from love for love.

FRAGMENTS

A lily among thorns

A part of me was once broken

I sought for love where I shouldn’t

I was in search for intimacy, devotion, security, from someone who didn’t have it

So much of life was invisible, inscrutable: layers of thoughts, feelings, outward events entwined with secrecies, obscurities, ambivalences and darkness strongly present even as I search

Each night was the same

My mind clouded like a dark, busy highway

Busy, yet empty

While the darkness engulfed me

Until one night, I saw a great light directly in front of me

I didn’t hear a voice, but I felt as if that shaft of light was the presence of God inviting me to step into it

To choose God instead of this earthly love that I wanted to turn and cling to

I hesitated just long enough for the light to vanish as quickly as it appeared…

A part of me was suppose to suffer for it but all part of me suffered for it

In choosing men, I lost the awareness of the very presence of God

I broke down my altar

My heart got tangled up, and now I was paying the consequences

All I got from those places were countless fragments

Fragments that shiver my heart

Causing me to fly on broken wings

Now, I have to put my pieces together

So I can regain myself, my complete WHOLE!

Be You!

yourself

Do you know that the best thing you can ever do for yourself, is to love yourself and do you. Self love is very awesome! One of the things I have learned about the society is that; you can never always fit in. And the hardest battle you will ever fight, is the battle of just being you. You don’t have to always fit into other people’s way of life just to feel among.

One thing, I know for a sure is that; not everyone will truly understand who you really are. No matter what you do, some people will never take you serious and will always overlook you. Worry less because that is normal! You are not made for everyone. We are different people with different perspectives about life.

You should learn to live by your own values and beliefs. Know your worth and what you are living for. Never feel like you owe anyone anything. Do not give people the opportunity to steal your happiness from you, with their own opinions. Stay real, true and happy always!

The fact remains that no matter what you do and how real you are, some people will still see you as “fake”. They do not see the real you because of what they have heard about you or probably because they refused to get know who you really are. Not to worry child, I always tell myself that, those kind of people are not designed to see the real me and not everyone can handle my type of greatness (You should use this too). Make sure you stay loyal to the people who are worth it but be careful because you might never get that it.

You don’t always have to prove yourself to people neither should you fight too hard to win a spot in anyone’s life. Truth be told, true love and true friendships come natural, you don’t have to fight for it. People who truly want you as part of their lives and not for the sake of benefiting from you, would gladly accept you for you with all your flaws and imperfections. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

Set the people who treat you with certain limits FREE! LET THEM GO!!!

Move on, if you feel you are not wanted by someone. There’s so much in you, that you would not always need a certain people around to make you feel good, happy or better about yourself. Be good to people always, but do not waste your time trying to prove that to anyone. Save your energy for the ones who truly appreciate you. Surround yourself with like minds and awesome people like you. If you don’t find, stay alone and never feel lonely because you are really not alone.

Love yourself, treat yourself like the best thing that has ever happened to you. It takes a lot to love oneself, but you have to keep loving yourself because self love is a great source of strength and happiness from within. Nothing makes you more confidant and fulfilled than that! You are good enough for you. BElieve in YOUrself, BE YOU!

THANKFUL (Thanksgiving)

Thankful

With a grateful heart, I say, Thank you, God

Thank you for the precious gift of life.

Thank you for my eyes because I can see with them.

Thank you for my legs, because I can walk with them, I need no external or medical support.

Thank you for my hands, because I use them for it purpose, especially to write this.

Thank you because all the systems of my body are working effectively.

My heart is functioning well, I need no life support or pacemaker.

Thank you for the roof over my head.

Thank you for my siblings.

Thank you for my mom and dad, providing for them to provide for me and my siblings.

Thank you for the food I eat because some have food but cannot eat, some want to eat but have no food but I can eat whatever I want to eat at anytime.

Thank you for every challenges and circumstances because they make stronger.

Thank you for giving the grace to love even those that hurt me.

Thank you for wisdom. knowledge, understanding and excellent spirit.

Thank you for the power in the name of your son, Jesus that have broken every chains in in my life and in the lives of my families.

Thank you for everything you have blessed me with.

Forgive me for the times I complained and thought you were far away and not answering my prayers.

Forgive me for the things I have taken for granted because I know they are some people prayers.

I am so grateful, You have been so wonderful to me, my families and friends.

It has not being by my power or might but by Your grace and love.

I would never have made it without you, Lord.

I am GRATEFUL, THANKFUL and BLESSED!

LETTER TO MAMA

To the ONE who gave me life, I can give nothing but Love.

To the star, so full of light, the ONE sent from my Father above, thank you for the Kindness.

For everything you do, still doing and will still do. I appreciate it.

Thank you for the morals, the prayers and the disciplines.

Thank you for seeing me through the times of happiness and sadness. It is so usual what we share, Mama.

It took me years to know that you are supposed to be my Best friend, but I am glad it did not take forever for me to realize that. Nowadays, everything I do, you know.

They say, children are the reflection of their parents, with that, I try to show the world every beautiful quality of you in me. Not often enough do I tell you how much you mean to me and do I show you how your love has set me free but I do love you, Mama.

I also, know that a times I rebel and do things you are not proud of but despite all of it, you still shower me with so much love and affections.

You are the special Angel, God gave to me. I always find comfort, peace and renewal of faith in talking to you. Whether life is in a shambles, whether I lose or I win, You are always there to reassure me of a greater tomorrow. Like you always say to me “You can not die in that situation, because your heavenly father sees it all”.

To live forever, is what I always pray for you. A long life ever-lasting, reaping the fruit of your labor. I remember there were days, you will go hungry, so I and my siblings could eat. Rather than buy fancy cars, clothes etc, you prefer to give us all you have just to provide for us and to make sure we do not beg or compare ourselves with other kids at school.

There were times, you played the role of father, mother, lover, teacher, preacher and best friend. You are a refined combo of a mother.

One thing, I know for a sure, is that I and my siblings will not stop until we make you proud, until we get to the top, until people said our names along with the line “I want to be like her or him”. Your fruits (I and my siblings) are going to yield a bountiful forest of God’s blessings and you will not be able to contain it but you will bless the name of the Lord for it.

Heaven knows, I could not have asked for a better mother. Even If I had the opportunity of choosing a mom when God created me, I do not think I would have done it right.

You are so gracious in speech, cautions and courteous in words, so beautiful and blessed. You are a strong pillar of love; always there to correct and share constructive ideas so we do not go astray. I can go on and on writing the good stuffs about you…

I love you till the very end, I love you forever and a day more. You are a mother first, then a best friend second.

I LOVE YOU, MAMA!A mother's love