FRAGMENTS

A lily among thorns

A part of me was once broken

I sought for love where I shouldn’t

I was in search for intimacy, devotion, security, from someone who didn’t have it

So much of life was invisible, inscrutable: layers of thoughts, feelings, outward events entwined with secrecies, obscurities, ambivalences and darkness strongly present even as I search

Each night was the same

My mind clouded like a dark, busy highway

Busy, yet empty

While the darkness engulfed me

Until one night, I saw a great light directly in front of me

I didn’t hear a voice, but I felt as if that shaft of light was the presence of God inviting me to step into it

To choose God instead of this earthly love that I wanted to turn and cling to

I hesitated just long enough for the light to vanish as quickly as it appeared…

A part of me was suppose to suffer for it but all part of me suffered for it

In choosing men, I lost the awareness of the very presence of God

I broke down my altar

My heart got tangled up, and now I was paying the consequences

All I got from those places were countless fragments

Fragments that shiver my heart

Causing me to fly on broken wings

Now, I have to put my pieces together

So I can regain myself, my complete WHOLE!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s